How Pacing Can Help You Rebuild Faster

(Gentle note: This post about pacing offers general encouragement, not personal medical or therapeutic advice. Everyone’s healing journey is unique, and if you’re struggling, it’s okay to reach out for professional or community support.)

I recently found myself with two big blueberry plants, a small Chinese date (Jujube) tree, and two sets of new plants for my kitchen window boxes. All these lovely plants needed to be potted and arranged as soon as possible. The pressure of getting it done and the knowledge that winter was on its way stressed me out. It was not just about potting new plants; I had to dig out all the old, withered plants, change the soil (more digging!), and prepare everything before even being able to put the new plants into their places.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want the new plants; I loved the idea of fresh greenery replacing the ones that stubborn little bugs (grrrr) had eaten, but at the same time, I felt completely overwhelmed by the amount of work ahead. I could already feel my energy running thin and knew I couldn’t fix everything at once.

In the past, my usual approach in situations like this was to “just push through,” do it all, and then collapse afterwards. I remember one weekend when I tried to tackle an entire gardening project in one day. By the end, I was exhausted, my body ached, and instead of enjoying the plants, I barely had the energy to look at them.

But this time, I approached the situation differently, and that is what I want to share with you today. The power of pacing yourself, how to find energy, joy, and motivation for what needs to be done without burning out.

The hidden power of pacing

Pacing isn’t just about moderating feelings, pain, or illness, though it is often used in those contexts to create order and hope in chaotic situations. It’s also about finding a sustainable level of activity that works for you day to day. To pace yourself is to find the optimal level of function for both your mind and body, a level you can tolerate without setbacks or overwhelm. This concept is well-known in trauma recovery. When we’ve experienced emotional or physical overwhelm, our nervous system can get easily triggered by too much activity (social, mental, as well as physical). Pacing helps us move forward while staying within a “window of tolerance,” a psychological space where we can function without becoming dysregulated or shutting down.

So here we were, me and my plants, at a stand-off. On one hand, I wanted to do it all. And I’m pretty sure the plants were eager to jump into their new soil just as much as I was excited about a fresh arrangement in my kitchen window. On the other hand, I wanted to move forward peacefully, respecting the boundaries my body was gently reminding me of.

Perhaps you’ve experienced something similar while rebuilding your life after hurt or trauma, wanting everything to be okay, longing to finish the “healing process,” and just feel good again. Yet, at the same time, you’re hit with a sense of “this is too much,” not having the energy to make it all work. This tension between desire and capacity is common in recovery, and it can leave us frustrated or even ashamed. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

If that resonates with you, I want to share four principles to help you move forward without losing yourself in the process.

1. Acknowledge the struggle and be patient with yourself

It’s crucial to care for yourself and move forward with compassion, no matter the situation, whether you’re potting plants or healing from trauma. This can be hard because we often want to feel like superheroes, to do it all. But ask yourself honestly, is pushing yourself to the brink really healthy? Is it really helping?

Remember, doing it all doesn’t mean doing it all at once. Allow things to unfold in their own time. Healing, like planting, takes patience and attention. Even small steps matter; they are still progress. One tip I’ve found helpful is to celebrate even the tiniest victories, like potting just one plant instead of the whole set in a day. Recognising small wins nourishes your motivation and reinforces that you are moving forward.

2. Learn to pause before you absolutely need to

Read that again: pause before you need to. It’s much easier to get back on track if you never push yourself to minus ten in the first place. Pausing doesn’t mean giving up. It means adjusting your pace, moving forward at a rhythm that your mind and body can sustain.

It can be challenging to accept that you don’t have the mental or physical power for everything right now, but that doesn’t mean it will always be this way. Pausing is an act of listening to your body and mind. It’s a powerful form of self-care, and it is progress. One thing I was told when recovering from burnout some years ago was “take a break when you start feeling you don’t need one”. It felt like counterintuitive advice, because I wanted to get back to work as quickly as possible, and when starting to feel better, skipping breaks was alluring. However, it was good advice that has stuck with me since. So when working, doing healing work, or potting plants, pause, take a short walk outside or make a cup of tea before continuing. This pause doesn’t slow you down; it replenishes your energy and supports your body.

3. Embrace trial and error

Finding the right pace, tempo, or rhythm for yourself often requires experimentation. Whether you’re working on therapy, pain management, physical activity, or daily tasks, discovering your optimal pace can take time.

The important thing is to create supportive structures, habits, or checkpoints that guide you toward a sustainable rhythm. For example, in chronic pain management, it’s often suggested to identify a “minimum baseline” of activity that you can accomplish even on the hardest days, so you maintain momentum without pushing yourself into collapse. Just because you can’t do twenty push-ups today doesn’t mean you can’t do one.

Small, consistent actions build resilience. Allow yourself to try, fail, and adjust. Over time, you’ll discover what works best for you, and see the trying as a progress itself. One thing you can start with is asking yourself, “What feels manageable when I feel the worst/lowest/in most pain?” and write it down as a starting point.

4. Structure your activities for meaning and hope

Pacing is more than finding a comfortable tempo. It’s also about choosing what to do and when to do it. Structured pacing allows you to honour your needs while still making progress. It’s a rhythm that nurtures your mind, body, and spirit. Finding a balance and not overexerting yourself will also create room for more moments devoted to activities you love, adding in those small pauses that are vital for rebuilding.

For example, you might decide to limit active healing work, like therapy sessions, homework, or reading self-help material, to times in the day when you have the most energy and focus. Or doing mentally challenging tasks in a place where you feel most safe (at home, in a coffee shop or with your partner). Also, avoiding emotionally taxing activities in the evening and at night can be a good idea to help preserve your sleep quality.

So, how did it go with my plants?

Instead of five hectic hours, it took six hours spread over several days. The Jujube tree waited patiently for almost two weeks before finally being potted and well-protected for winter. Overall, the process was more joyful and positive, giving me the chance to savour the fall weather, thoughtfully arrange the plants, and give each one some extra love.

The example of potting plants may seem small or even trivial, but it illustrates a key point. Pacing is not just about managing tasks. It’s about creating space for enjoyment, reflection, and sustainable effort. For those living with chronic illness, trauma, or who are rebuilding after hurt, this approach can help to make everyday life more hopeful. Something that, in the long run, will actually move your healing forward. Whether in the healing process or in managing our daily responsibilities, it allows us to move in a rhythm that suits us. Even if it might sound like a simple thing, it can help to prevent overwhelm, making even challenging tasks manageable, and cultivates hope along the way.

Ultimately, whether you’re planting blueberries or tending to your inner world, pacing yourself is an act of self-compassion. It’s a recognition that life and healing are not a race. By moving gently and deliberately, we allow ourselves the space to grow and truly enjoy the journey.

A gentle reflection for you

Before you move on with your day, take a few quiet minutes and write about one of these questions:

• When was the last time I slowed down, and it actually helped me move forward?
• What signs does my body give me when I’m doing too much?
• What does a “sustainable pace” look like for me right now, in this season?


You don’t have to overthink it; just let your thoughts flow. Write as if you’re having an honest conversation with yourself. When you’re done, finish with one gentle sentence of intention. Something like:

“Today I will honor my limits as an act of love.”

“I choose peace over pressure.”

“My healing doesn’t need to be rushed.”

Let these words stay with you as a reminder that healing, like planting, grows one small step at a time.